THE BROOKHOUSE WAGS Date: 22 Oct 08
As Govenor of your local pub it is important that the Wags and the Govenor should have a very special relationship. Which I intend to pursue. We all know what happended to David Beckham when his wag didn't get on with Sir Alex Ferguson. So as long as all you Wags play by the rules and follow my lead everything will be cushty. It is very important for you as a wag to respect that whilst your partner is in the pub, that is his special time and needs to be respected. You may say he's up there drinking and spending all the family's money. I would look at the broader picture that if your partner is not allowed his recreational time without being disturbed this may affect his work and then everybody would suffer. What you Wags don't realise is that whilst your husband is here he may be wheeling and dealing on the business front making new contacts, organising future deals, which is all to the benefit of you Wags.
If I may be so bold I am going to give you five top tips for keeping your husband happy:
1. When your husband says he is going to the pub. Your reply should be with a broad smile. Would you like me to drive you to the pub and give me a ring when you are ready to come home and what type of sandwich would you like when you get in and I will have it ready for you by the television.
2. It is important to keep your husbands sporting equipment in a clean and tidy fashion. At least once a week golf clubs should be cleaned, preferably with an old toothbrush to get into those awkward places and his balls rubbed with a damp cloth (baby wipes). If your husband is a footy man, football boots should be cleaned after every game and the kit should be washed and pressed and placed back in his kit bag. For Darts wags ensure that the shafts are well oiled and smooth to touch.
3. If your partner decides to bring you to the pub, which you will be more than welcome (certain days only). Immediately on arrival go to a corner sit down and wait for your partner to address you. Try not to draw attention to yourself as your husband will return to you at some point when he is ready. Remember this is his local not yours and without him where would you be.
4. It is very important that a proper hot meal is waiting for your husband after a long day at the pub. time and time again I see some of my male customers having to attend Kebab shops, chip shops, KFC etc and this is not acceptable and you should all hang your head in shame. Steak dinners are very popular with plenty of chips.
5. If you follow the above guidelines I will ensure that your husband has a relaxing and happy time at his local pub. It is important for us both to realise we have an important job to do here. I the Govenor may occasionally do home visits to ensure that standards are being kept. On arrival I should be taken to a comfortable chair, ashtry, tea and biscuits (chocolate) to be provided. If you are one of the lucky ones don't panic, you don't have to go for the best china a plain mug will do. Sometimes I am accompanied by Brook the pubs German Shepherd, her favourite drink is ice cold milk with hand fed cold meats.
If any Wags wish to e-mail with ways in which I could improve this page to the benefit of your partner feel free to do so on brookhousepub@btconnect.com.
